A pity party for one!

It is so easy for us to sit and have a pity party when hard times come our way especially when we are doing right. We expect blessing for obedience and when we get trials it seems as if we have the right to look up and say, “God, you are supposed to be good’ You are supposed to bless me.” God’s goodness, however, is not limited to our present circumstances.

Remember that ALL things [not just good things] work together for good them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Don’t let bad attitude, a sin or circumstances of this like allows you to forget the goodness of God. He will always come through. He will always work hard things out of the glory of God in your life. Let the Holy Spirit shine a light on things that will hinder our full service for the Kingdom. Whatever you do, even when you desperately want to, don’t quit

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God has a lesson and a blessing right around the corner.

Think of Nehemiah. He was called according to God’s purpose. He was called by God to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. God allowed him to leave Persia, where he had a servant to the king, travel safely to Jerusalem with the kings permission and supplies to rebuild the WALL! That must have been so reassuring that God was on his side. However, after he railed the people together and they were in the middle of working, the outsiders started to mock him. They were relentless. They told him that he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t smart enough. He wasn’t strong enough. They even threatened to attack the city while they were building Nehemiah could have doubted Gods goodness at that time. He could have thought, “God, you  told me that you would be with me! I’m doing this in obedience and for your name, God. You told me you would bless! You called me here to leave me?

But he didn’t do that. He prayed, trusting that God would just do just as he said he would. He would be with Nehemiah. He would help to finish the work that he started.. Even if hard times came crashing in. He could have quit, but didn’t. He rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem and God’s name was lifted up in revered in that city.. And all the surrounding cities knew the strength of the true God.

The truth is God never said it would be easy, but I have never heard of anyone who regretted not giving up on God!

James 1:2-4 “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

God is preparing you for something in the midst of your trial. He wants you to reach your full potential, and he does that through testing your faith. Just as exercise tears down muscle to build it back stronger, God uses our (your) hard life situations to tear down our (your) pride, and self-sufficiency, and to build our (your) faith in Him.

When we are patient and trust His hand even we can not see, we can be made little by little into what he has truly created us to be. We can always trust Him to bring us through every trial and every testing that comes our way, and believe me, they will come.

 What is the trial that you are going through? Is it bigger than your calling? Is it bigger that your God? Of course it isn’t? He sees and knows everything. Be encouraged! Every promise of God is true, and even when we don’t understand, hard times will prove God faithful in you simply trust Him.

The fact is at times you are going to want to give up.. Don’t!

Is #MCM okay?

Just when we thought our standards were safe… here we go again.

Okay, so it has only been Monday for about 9 hours and I have counted 68 Man Crush Mondays on my Instagram and Facebook combined. Yes, don’t judge me I wake up and get straight on Social Media.. Don’t worry God is working on my heart with that. However, let’s get back to the real issue.

We say we want MEN OF GOD, but we are posting pictures of men of the world. We say we have raised the standards for women, but we are raising our eyebrows at half-dressed boys. We say we want to be treated with RESPECT, but we are treating men around us like dogs.

It is really just harmless fun? Drooling over shirtless pictures of men who are nothing like MEN OF GOD we say we long for? Is it really okay for us ladies to bash men for not guarding their eyes on social media and then for us to do the very same thing we condemn them for?

Shouldn’t we be holding ourselves to a higher standard? Yes, even on Monday! Don’t we know what lust is? Don’t we know that it’s not something that only affects men?

Well, just in case we forgot.  Lust is a desire for someone’s flesh- a feeling inside your body, but not your heart.  Reality Check: You don’t have to know anything about another person to lust after them. All you have to do is look and want. And this is what #MCM has become. Just a day where we all glorify numerous men out there and hashtag #YUM #SEXY #BEMYHUSBAND #FUTUREHUSBAND #EYECANDY. However, when Men do this we are offended. The fact is, lust doesn’t only happen to men, and it’s not Godly.

1 John 2:16 “For all that is in the world, lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the father, but of this world.

As the girls after God’s heart that we long to be, are we slipping up? Are we making mistakes that could cost our hearts, our lives and our testimonies?

Okay, I am not saying it is wrong to be attracted to someone. I am attracted to many men. God made everyone that way. Everyone has a silly celebrity crush, a character in a book or movie that they may be a fan of or be harmlessly attracted to, BUT characters in a movie or book or even celebrities are just fictional as the girls on the cover of magazines. Every one of them is scripted, cropped, painted, photoshopped and shown in their best light.

Just like every Wednesday when we think or say “Those aren’t real girls…” Sidenote: Cody will be writing on #WCW I hope you read that as well

These guys on MAN CRUSH MONDAYS aren’t real either, and to say you want a man of God and publicly feast your eyes on the flesh of the men of the world is just wrong- Sorry but someone has to be real.

I get so mad and so frustrated you know when these Christian guys tell girls to be godly, dress modestly and find their identity in Christ and then follow and chase all sorts of ungodly women. It just makes them look like fools, and send a completely hypocritical message to the people who follow them. Well, why aren’t we upset about girls who do the same?

We are being just as hypocritical when we say we want men of integrity, courage, honor and purity then hashtag half naked men who live lives of shame and disgrace of their own pleasure.

We scream, “Where are the good men?” and praise the bad. Well, bottom line is you get what you praise. I don’t have to sit here and explain to you that woman crush Wednesday is lustful, wrong and hypocritical for Christian men to participate in just as it is for women when we participate in #MCM

We want Christian men so badly to stand and proclaim that the true beauty we all should be chasing is the HEART. So why is it any different for Christian Women?

I could care less which way you spin this situation. It doesn’t matter if he is Christian or not. I don’t care if he is the apostle Paul, posting half naked pictures of him on Mondays is just not right!! Posting pictures of half naked and even clothed men who live for themselves and the world and calling them your MAN CANDY isn’t something a Proverbs 31 woman would participate in.

I don’t write this post to make you feel guilty.. Okay maybe a little. Because I am nowhere close to perfect but I write this because I hear my girlfriends talk about #WCW because their boyfriends/husbands and even crushes are posting pictures of half-naked girls (credited that some are not) but they gesture and the reaction is just the same. Nobody likes it but we are all participating in it..

Okay, I know that some of the #MCM are boyfriends of the girl posting it. And I say to you do you only have a crush on him one day out of the week? It reminds me of valentine’s day when I hear girls say I don’t understand this day sometimes is he only allowed to show me he loves me one day out of the year and yet us girls are in some way doing the same on Mondays….

Girls Lets:

Keep our eyes on the Kingdom.

Keep our testimonies pure.

Keep our standards equal.

Rise about the expectations the world has set for us.

Praise the REAL, good, godly men in our lives.

Match our walk with our talk.

Stop compromising purity.

Not look like the world, but truly be “set-apart” in all that we do

Put an end to #MCM.

Disclaimer: Just because you post the same #MCM still doesn’t change the fact that you will never be with them. Especially, if these men are already married! Do not lust over someone’s husband I am pretty sure God said not to do that as well.

Well Happy Monday (:

This is my battle

They See Her Heart Before They See Her Skin

Let me preface this by saying, I am a girl. I don’t know what it is like to be a guy. I can talk to guys about it, read books and internet blogs, but, unfortunately, I will never truly know what happens to a guy in relationships or what goes through their minds when they see girls (sisters in Christ ) walking around with clothing that can clothe a baby doll. I can only address what I see as a problem with our generation from the female perspective. And since I am a girl,that is where I will start. Because, I truly believe that if we want things to change, and  respect from men we HAVE to start with ourselves. We girls need to work together to help ourselves and in the process protect our brothers in Christ.

{Part One}

I was asked by a wonderful Godly man to speak to a congregation on MODESTY. My first thought was “Homie, do you know I am not a public speaker. I choke in class presentations and I am not qualified to talk about Sex-love and modesty!” Mark responded “You will figure it out its okay if you embarrass yourself at least there’s laughter. Let me know by the end of the week” Literally after days of dwelling on this conversation seeking advice from mentors, friends and family I decided to go ahead and proceed with it. Let’s pray this is not a disaster………

This issue is touchy, but one that desperately needs to be addressed “Clothing makes the man….” Fill in the blank (Men if you’re reading please fill in that blank). Okay girls, yes, SOME men are just pigs and they are completely responsible for their own actions. However, have we ever stopped to wonder why we attract these men? Why they say the things they say to us? That maybe just maybe the problem starts with us. I know we are girls we don’t do anything wrong 

Unfortunately, that is a LIE and we need to start taking responsibility for our own actions.

This world is constantly telling us we need to be “Sexy” Seriously, every television show; commercial, magazine, social media, advertisement and so on and so on tell us this. That our ONLY worth comes from what we are in the eyes of the opposite sex. If men think you are beautiful and give you the time of day and even ask for your number THEN you are special. If you have a man by your side than you are worthy of love and you can walk in knowing this.. And if not? Well, then you are ugly, fat and unworthy of affection and love. Harsh, I know, but at some point every girl has thought that about herself and if you haven’t please share your secret!

We push and push, start movements and blogs about how real beauty comes from the inside and that every girl is beautiful in her own way. This message is great, powerful and COMPLETELY true, but if we don’t live what we preach then it means nothing to our life. Instead, we lower our standards in the way we dress to attract these men who do not appreciate who we are on the inside. If we do not act and dress as though we are special, beautiful and worthy of respect and love we sure as heck won’t be treated like we are. So let’s start backing up our message with the way we live, and the way we conduct ourselves in relationships with our brothers in Christ because we are WORTH more.

The only reasonable conclusion I can really think of is that we know in our heads that “real beauty is on the inside” but we would rather immerse ourselves in lies of the world and lies of Satan. We may not consciously make that decision, but every time we put ourselves down, or start to feel worthless, or post a sexual and provocative pictures on Facebook, we are choosing to believe a lie of Satan over what God has already told us.  That our beauty only comes from Jesus Christ’s presence in our hearts and lives. So instead of addressing the heart issue we go and find an outfit that pushes the limits to see if we can get away with it. Then get this we blame the men in our lives for only wanting us for what we can give them and looking at us in a way that makes us uncomfortable.

We are bluntly putting ourselves on display

GIRLS, if YOU put it out there, then, sorry it is fair game

#RealTalk

Ladies, please here me when I say you are in complete control of how men look at you.

Expect more.

You literally teach them what body parts they are allowed to gawk at by the way you dress; especially to the guys who have no self-control. We have only a small idea what it is like to be a guy, or how hard it is to control what goes through their heads. They are going to look at what you show them , bottom line…or really struggle NOT to. That is not what we should be to our brothers in Christ, and we certainly are not going to attract the good guys this way. How can we expect to find a good guy who love us for our hearts, when we shove our bodies in his face?  When they already find it hard to even look at us with compromising their thought life, let alone spend time in getting to know what is inside of us because of what we make them struggle with.

The way you dress either demands respect or invites disrespect. Please hear me again The way you dress either demands respect or invites disrespect. So often, we feel like men do not deserve our respect; they have to earn it. 
For example I am sitting at work writing this and I look over to my left and there is a guy in a suit coming in to interview automatically he has my respect when I go in about 20 minutes to escort him to the conference room to be interviewed but if he were to walk in here with basketball shorts and a t-shirt I would be like okay, you can walk right back out. I hope you get the point. It’s not any different for women the way we dress says a lot about us.

I am completely a girl, and I love to look pretty and cute, and beautiful, but this can definitely be done in a classy, respectful way, keeping in mind the men around you and how you want them to think about you. I don’t dress like a frump and neither should you! However, the way some girls are dress and present themselves (especially on social media) just does not send them message that they respect themselves and know their inner worth. Girls, I promise good men will notice when you dress and act in a way that honors God I can promise you that.

I am not saying that men are not responsible for what they look at or think about… they most certainly are and will answer to God for it, but we girls are a big problem in this area in which we beg for a solution. We need to take responsibility for what we display. Because no matter how strong a guy is spiritually, he is still a guy. God made men this way, and not on accident. God had a plan for men to be the pursuers in the relationship.. to WIN the girl’s heart; not the body. Then, after he wins her heart and commits to her (AKA MARRIAGE) then he gets her body. He is just not going to commit to you if he has nothing to win because you have already given to him

I’m also not saying that this will stop every man from treating every woman with disrespect, but it is a safeguard against it, and an area where we desperately need to take action. The fact of the matter is we CAN control how we are to be treated, and we are responsible in this area. If we want to be wanted for our bodies, then that is a heart issue. However, I’m pretty sure that every girl wants to be loved for everything that is inside of her that is beautiful, not just our physical.

You get what you fish for. If you are “baiting” men with your body, then the only men you are going to catch are the men who want your body. Plain and simple. However, if you want a guy who loves you for your heart, you’re going to have to catch a man with your heart. He has to be able to stay around you long enough to see it. You want a man with a good heart? Show him a good heart, not your physical “goods.”

How you get him is how you keep him. We’ve heard that before. So say you find a man, and he commits to you and marries you; but the main feature that caught him was your body and physical appearance…. what happens when you get pregnant? When you gain weight? When you start to get older and less attractive? If he did not find your inside to be the most attractive thing about you, what’s going to happen when something better comes along? It would be so sad to be in a relationship with a man who only liked you for what you gave him sexually; and, as you aged, thought you were boring, unattractive, or unlovely. There will always be girls prettier than you and willing to show more, and sexual competition is not what God has in mind for his daughters. However, this is where we are headed when we attract men based on our physical appearances alone. Heartache, and don’t you think it breaks Jesus’ heart too? I want my future husband to love me for my personality, my sense of humor, my brain, and courage, and all the weird quirky things that I do, and, mostly, my love for God… and have eyes only for me.

Lastly, I want to encourage you in that next time you see a girl with a sexually revealing outfit on, don’t judge her in your heart. Have compassion instead. It breaks my heart to see and know that some girls don’t know that they do not have to show off their bodies to be worth something. That they are so much more than what their body looks like, and how men respond to seeing it. It is so sad. Pray for her. If you know her, talk to her or show her these posts! Help her see that Jesus made her beautiful heart for Him, and she deserves to expect more too.

Girls, if we want our relationships to be everything we really long for and God promised to us, we can’t settle for the cheap version that the world offers us. We have to ask for something more. If we want to be everything God has made us to be as representatives of Jesus Christ and the gospel, we need to clothe ourselves with the respect and holiness that our message demands. We’ve just got to expect more because the Jesus we love does care about our clothes and how His daughters present themselves….and He definitely expects more of us.

Ladies- I promise you there are Godly men out there who beg for us to believe this and I am determined to find them.. This is only the beginning 

This is my Battle -  Because This is how I choose to live not because I have to, not because I’m forced to, but because I want to and because this is where I find freedom to be the beautiful person God has created me to be.